Girlfriend Catch Up

Very good catch up with my girlfriend, Lala. So nice to finally be able to talk to someone about the girly bits in a possible, probable relationship. I admire her for her tapang and lakas ng loob. Sometimes I think to myself to wish to be like her. Sabi nya, if meron MERON. If a door closes, another one opens. Very true. Sabi pa nya pag ex EX na yun. No turning back. Which brought me to opening up with her about the dreaded ex. Sabi pa nya baket daw ba ako patay na patay dun. The reason for me is the S with the EX. Natawa sya and said "Naku marami namang iba jan". Marami nga talagang iba. And I am praying to God to just help me go through with this. I never prayed for signs because I never notice or known of any signs in my life. I remember my other friend Ranma. She is very specific with praying for signs. She asks for conditional signs. Na tipong pag ganito yung nangyari...it means...Ako kaya, what can I pray for which specific sign? Feeling ko naloko na naman ako last night. Well malamang naloko nga ako. I laid my cards on the table. All in, wide open and all he said was "Madali naman daw ako mahalin." What the f*ck! Kung poker to, talong talo na ako. Poker face sya. We have been going on like this, tapos di pa pala siya sigurado sa feelings nya. Anak ng!!! Another ultimatum. Wag na nya akong kausapin. Ayoko ng ganitong buhay na hindi sigurado. Thinking ahead, parang hindi ako magiging masaya. Ayokong maging miserable. Parang puro problema ang maidudulot nya saken. Sabi nga ni Lala, ok lang kung matitiis ko ang lahat. Ayoko...Ayoko ng ganun.